My Story
I was in a bookstore, surrounded by a pile of volumes about world religions, philosophy and science. I was involuntarily sweating and trembling. I imagined that God might strike me down at any moment because I was starting to question things that I was being taught in church.
The cracks began my faith when I discovered more about what the Bible actually said, and what the followers perceived about the book literally said. I reasoned – If there is an all powerful creator God of the universe, He is certainly big enough to handle honest inquiry.
The Bible literalists were especially disconcerting. I remember thinking – In this modern era, are there people really believing in a 6 day creation story or believing Noah’s Ark? A surprisingly large number did think about it in that way. A select few literalists had reverse engineered elaborate rationalizations regarding space-time and relativity. They used it to support their
beliefs.
The silos I had in my mind regarding religion and science were breaking down. I wanted intellectual integrity. Could both be true? Could I reasonably reconcile the differences? Looking back, I was starting to reconsider and I was experiencing cognitive dissonance – the psychological phenomenon that occurs when a person holds two contradictory beliefs at the same time. The conflict was causing me anxiety. I felt out of integrity. Until then I had put my trust in spiritual and religious leaders, the same way you might any other professional advisor- doctor, lawyer or CPA. After all, they were genuinely good people, who had studied at divinity schools, seemed to have my best interest at heart. They spoke with conviction and authority.
But for the first time, I was beginning to take ownership of my faith journey. It was a bit scary and exciting. I wanted to know what was true and willing to invest some time and energy to figure it out. It would be a deeper dive than I ever imagined. My journey would take me into a number of disciplines including theology, sociology, psychology, philosophy and science. This was going slowly. This was pre-internet and information wasn’t readily available. This meant reading books versus watching YouTube videos. Believers I encountered often claimed personal experience and revelation. I wanted concrete answers but felt like I was trying to nail
Jello to a wall I was not getting them.
I discovered a number of things:
1. A surprisingly large amount of diversity in religious beliefs. There are some 30,000 variations of Christianity alone. And everyone seemed to believe their version or denomination was the most correct one.
2. Very few people had actually read the Bible, especially chapters like Leviticus or Exodus. In fact, very few people actually read at all. Some 27 percent of adult Americans didn’t read the Bible last year. And most of those who did…didn’t finish them.
3. People had varied views on God. For some he is the condemning figure from the Old Testament (remember Sodom and Gomorrah). For others, He is the embodiment of pure love. Think about Jesus and first Corinthians. In God belief, is a Rorschach test of sorts – people seem to see what they want to see.
4. Many people seemed to be attending church with their brains on autopilot. – “dittoheads”. They were working off inherited worldviews developed when they were five years old. I know, because I was one of them. I was lucky. I found thoughtful books on a number of topics that gave me real perspective. It gave me comfort. I didn’t necessarily look at books that supported my previous paradigm. It was like getting more of toxic substance kool aid diced with religion. I wanted perspectives that opened, not versus closed my mind. and I found them. “Ask and you shall receive” …right?
The process of my deconstruction took several years. I would get an insight that filled in a missing piece. That insight would often lead to a new and different question. I was emotionally challenged because I didn’t have a support group. At the time, I was married to a believer and she was confident that she knew the truth. She was not open to hearing anything that might create cognitive dissonance for her, and referred me to pastors and books. I stayed safely in the confines in the closet of my mind.
Today, we live in a different world. The internet puts information at our fingertips. Ask any question and you can receive answers in minutes. I want to know why followers see “Flat Earth” as a viable theory. Just asked Google it. A challenge is understanding the questions to ask in the first place.
Once I opened my mind to the possibilities, the resources and perspectives came flowing in. I read a book by Richard Dawkins entitled “The Blind Watchmaker”. The elegance of this work was amazing! Other books on faith and science began to fill in the gaps.
I believe that ignorance is the enemy here. But, when it comes to faith, there is more at stake. That includes membership in communities, personal relationships and more. People want to stay in their silos. At least when it comes to their faiths. Wandering away from the mental partitions requires mental energy. It can be exhausting.
Not only do We offer a solid framework with which to reconstruct deconstruct your faith. We can help you rebuild.
Religion is big business. Over $100 billion is given to churches annually. The Mormon church is rumored to have between $100 and $200 billion in its coffers. The Catholic Church has billions also. Religion is good at getting the word out because it has resources like this. There are church buildings, and professional pastors and ministers.
Our intention with NaturalView is to create one place that can give you a perspective on both religion and science. We believe that truth is sacred. Please consider having a genuine and positive impact in people’s lives by supporting our cause. Please donate for our effort. Pay it forward!